"I took the road less traveled by, and that has made all the difference."

"If there is one constant in life, it's change" so goes an old adage. This past week, I partook in 3! going-away parties... this was definitely a surprise to me. Although I always knew that LA is a city where many come to seek out stardom, surf, or sun... many come, but not too often leave. But this past week, my neighbor left for Seattle, a colleague had a party for her new assignment to London, and a guy I recently met over Saturday recreational beach volleyball was leaving for Michigan.

I guess it caught me by surprise since this past month marked my 1 year anniversary of being back in LA. In many ways, it reminded me a lot about my 1st full year in China. For those contemplating about spending a year or more abroad, the one advice I can give is to expect that people will come in and out of your life more often than changes in seasons. I recall my 1st 6 months in Beijing was a time of incredible changes. One evening sitting at a bar in Beijing, it dawned on me that during my 1st 6 months, 6 of my 10 good friends/drinking buddies/mischiefs had or were about to leave Beijing permanently. This on top of realizing that like the crazy pace of changes occuring all around Beijing, I too was changing just as fast. This is the most amazing gift about living aboard for the 1st time - you learn more about yourself in a few months than you'll probably do in a decade at home. If interested, below's the email I wrote to everyone back here in the states about my impressions of living abroad during my first few months in Beijing.

Written sometime in September 2002...

Hey everyone,

Just wanted to say hello. Hope you're doing well. I'm doing great here in Beijing, been here for about three months now... if you're interested, below's a bit of what I've written up about these past three months. Sort of a travelogue in a way. If you get a chance, let me know how things are with you. I will be back in December.

Take care,
- Shing

China - a land of 1.3 billion people with a culture of over 4,000 years old, one of the longest. Yet, here in year two of the 21^st century, she is a country that appears young - vibrant, bustling, ever-changing. According to some publications, a new building goes up every week – the result of massive FDI funds that continues to pour into this country despite a near-global recession. Some have jokingly called the construction crane China’s national bird. It is this raising of the skyscrapers and the promise of 1.3 billion consumers that have attracted so many here to seek opportunities and possible riches; a reverse gold-rush of sorts. But today, after three months of being here, I wonder if all this change in China is merely a face-lift performed by hasty business surgeons that can go terribly awry in a few years, much like a cheap Hollywood nose job. Of course, the hope is that all this change represents a true renaissance of the mind, spirit, and body of a new China. After having survived two turbulent centuries of being raped by foreign powers, seismic shifts in the powers that govern the country, and an entire generation scarred by a failed social experiment, this latest transformation will hopefully cast away the shadow of its darker history and remake a better China.

As for me, I honestly can’t say how I feel about her right now – sometimes she can be very alluring, seducing you with promises to fulfill your dreams and at times, she wears you down with her indiscriminate episodes of incomprehensible behaviors. But despite her heavy baggage of issues, many willingly and freely come from all over the world to date her. Some have gotten lucky but others have left after a few short years feeling frustrated and used. Presently, I am still at the stage of watching from afar, admiring her but not sure if I want more than that. She can definitely test a person’s patience. However, in the short three months that I’ve been here, I must say that she has more than amply surprised me in many ways and has definitely piqued my curiosity. Below are just some thoughts and experiences.

On being a "Foreigner"

For the West, China has always been deemed “exotic” – a place that has captured the imagination of many. From Marco Polo’s famous travelogues detailing her ancient dynastic riches to the fabled Silk Road with its still-present aura of romantic mysticism, China has always been a place of mystery and wonder for westerners. For me though, I never did subscribe to these popular notions. China had always been a place I knew I had cultural roots so it was never mysterious in my mind while I was growing up. Naively, I thought I would feel fairly “normal” if I was to move to China and become a Beijing resident. Sure, I had felt the “foreign-ness” in me before when I traveled here as a tourist but as a Beijing resident, I thought I could quickly shake off that feeling. Well, three months have passed now and yes, I still very much feel like an American in China and not a Chinese in China. I may look the same, eat the same foods, and share certain cultural courtesies with the locals, but I definitely don’t think and feel the same. At the risk of sounding cliché, it really is what’s in the inside that counts - your thoughts and values that make up who you are.

I remember I once read an article in a local expat magazine shortly before I moved here about this one Australian girl who was interviewed about her past 3 years in China. At the time, she was getting ready to leave China, after having worked through various jobs in Beijing. She came to Beijing shortly after her graduation from “uni” (university). She wanted to experience something different than her comfortable middle-class Australian life where everything seemed fine and normal. She thought of China first as an exciting place to visit and learn about the country’s culture. However, when she got here, she discovered it was herself that she most learned about by being in China. This is what I remembered most about the article. She commented that by being here, she was forced to examine and answer questions about what she values, why she thinks differently, and basically what makes her who she is. She believed that had she stayed in Australia, these questions probably would have never surfaced in her comfortable middle-class life back home. Today, I find myself having these same types of questions and feelings – day in and day out as I go about living in Beijing as a “local” and a “foreigner”.

"It's just China"

If there’s one phrase that I believe best sums up China in the last three months, it’s “It’s just China…” - a rather typical snippy response from expats whenever I ask why some things just doesn’t seem to make sense here. Take for example, one of the most intriguing jobs that I’ve ever seen – an elevator operator. No, not those fancy elevator operators in 5-star hotels but rather just plain clothed elevator operators that are staffed at every high-rise apartment that I’ve been to here. From 6AM-12AM and with 3 different shifts, there’s always someone there to press the button for you. Once I asked an operator why people can’t press the button for themselves, the response was a bewildering, “well, it could break if not operated properly….” On a first take, this appeared to be a nice little piece of convenience however it odd it may seem. However, this novelty quickly became a nuisance since the end of the last shift at 12AM also meant that the elevators had to be shut off too. As I’ve learned repeatedly, nothing sobers up a person faster than hiking up 15 dark flights of stairs after a late night of hanging out with friends. And each time as I do the hike, I always think, “Why do I have to do this? Oh yeah, so that the elevator operator can have a job…” Yes, that’s it. I’m doing something positive! Next time though, I’m getting an apartment that’s closer to street level… or else just simply stop going out so late…

Beijing is a very, very, very large city with something like 13 million people and a land area probably similar to the Los Angeles basin. And as many people have heard, bicycles are by far the most visible form of transportation. Shockingly though, I have yet to see any native Beijinger wear a bicycle helmet. Not the senior citizens, the adults, or the little emperors sitting precariously on the bike frame and held dearly by an “over-protective” parent. So, it is a bit of a spectacle for the locals when I go about riding my beaten up old Beijing bike around my neighborhood wearing my bike helmet and reflective clothing. For me, I can’t fathom not putting on all this safety gear given that Beijing has some of the worst traffic jams I’ve ever seen and that no one - drivers, bikers, or pedestrians, appears to heed any type of traffic laws. Despite all this traffic and congestion and the occasional auto-pedestrian, auto-bike, or the worst, bus-pedestrian accidents, no one seems to be particularly angry when an accident does happen. No waving of guns (guns are banned), no fist-fights (at least I’ve haven’t seen one yet), no lawyers, no road-rage. People here seem to let things quickly pass if no one was seriously hurt – a stark contrast to the states. I am still amazed that I haven’t seen more accidents here.

"Is China that BAD and the US that GOOD?"

One of things I alluded to earlier is that by living here, China makes people re-evaluate themselves including who they are, what are their values, and to a very large degree question everything that is good or bad about their home country. For the past few months, I’ve had more than a few discussions about this with my foreign friends here and everyone nods in agreement that they are so much more aware now of what they like and don’t like about their home country. For me, and this may sound trite, there are definitely a lot of things that we take for granted in the states. Things like being able to make travel plans more than 4-days in advance (train tickets can only be purchased for one-way and only 4-days in advance… airline tickets are a bit better) and the free flow of information (the recent two-week blocking of Goggle was numbingly frustrating… they finally reopened the link but still with selective sites blocked). But on the flip side, there are some very interesting aspects of China that make you think the states could and should do better.

One of the most fascinating realizations is that China gives its female population substantial respect – both at home and the workplace. Gender equality, espoused by the Communist Party after they came into power in 1949, is probably one of the things I think China does much better than the states. Generally speaking, violent crimes against women in public are almost non-existent. And from talking to my female friends here, everyone agrees that they feel very safe walking anywhere around Beijing – from large streets to dark alleys. This is a statement that I had never heard of back in CA. Regarding women and business, there appears to be little to no gender bias – I’ve seen them as taxi drivers, small business owners, entrepreneurs, etc. A great example of this was of what I witnessed at an informal meeting I had with this one businessman at a local Starbucks. He was looking to raise a fund to invest in China and had brought along some of his contacts, prospective clients that he was looking to do some work for. At the meeting were a lady who started her own mail-order fashion company and a man who has a computer hardware distribution business. Needless to say, the woman ran the company and as it turned out, her husband is also her employee. The man with the computer hardware distribution business was interesting. He brought along his wife and he often looked to her for feedback during the meeting. What I learned afterwards is that it is very typical for a woman to participate in her husband’s business, especially if it was a small one. Oftentimes, the woman is the one who controls the family finances.

Ying and Yang

China is definitely a place filled with contradictions and her own best example of the Daoist concept. Just as fast as the skyscrapers are being raised, so too is her march to catch up to the West. Thus, for an outsider living here and looking back out, it is easy to see that she is full of contradictions and surprises. For the last three months, it’s been a lot of fun trying to figure her out… now, let’s see if she’s willing to let me date her… by that, I mean, have a job.